


The Vows

by Spunkybob5



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Declarations Of Love, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-06-02 04:24:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6550810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spunkybob5/pseuds/Spunkybob5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean finds inspiration for his wedding vows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Vows

Dean wiped away the condensation and stared at himself in the mirror. His first conversation with Castiel had been bouncing through his head for days. His thoughts felt like the inside of a pinball machine.

“I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.”

Dean ran his fingertips over his shoulder. Dean had been cut, stabbed, burned, filleted, and all other manner of scarred. His skin carried the remains of hundreds battles. The brand from Castiel, though – that scar had healed long ago. He missed it. It was the only mark on him that truly proved he was loved.

“I’m an angel of the Lord.”

The last thing his mother ever said to him – well, when she was alive and in the correct timeline – was that angels are watching over him. When she’d died, Dean had understood that to be a lie, a platitude meant for children and fools. Until Castiel. Castiel had more than just proved angels are real. He had restored Dean’s trust in his mother. It wasn’t a lie. The last thing she told him was true. Maybe – maybe that meant all the other things she told him were true, too. Maybe…

“This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith.”

Dean pulled on his undershirt and headed down the hall to his room. If Dean was honest with himself, Castiel had distilled every bad decision he’d ever made into one sentence. He had no faith in himself, no faith in Sam, no faith in Bobby or Charlie or Jodi or Garth or Benny or Kevin or anyone else. Thanks to John, Dean had always believed faith was weakness. Until Castiel. Castiel remained the one person who lived up to the faith Dean had in him, the only one who continued to deserve that faith. He paused, looking at the pictures on the wall. They hadn’t been part of his original décor, but Castiel and Sam had made it a project, and every holiday, Dean found himself with another framed picture of the people he loved. And who loved him.

“It was my mistake.”

God, Dean had made so many mistakes, _so many_. Used to be he hid from them, played them off, blamed someone else. Like a coward. The more time he spent with Castiel, though, the more he understood the amount of bravery it took to fess up to the mistake and fix it. And Castiel was perpetually optimistic. He believed everything could be repaired. Dean admired that. He was starting to believe it could be true.

“This? This is a vessel.”

It bothered Dean that for as well as he knew Castiel’s soul – Grace? Whatever – he was never going to see _Castiel_ , not how he really was. Sometimes, at night, when Castiel was sated and relaxed, Dean thought he could see the glow of his Grace. Castiel looked ethereal then, and Dean wondered if he finally getting to perceive just a little more of the man he loved. Dean’s most selfish wish, one he’d never tell anyone, not even Sammy, was to be able to _see_ Castiel. All of him. Just as he was.

“Good things do happen, Dean.”

Dean opened his closet, staring at his outfit for today, unseeing. Before Castiel, Dean could barely remember good things. Moments of light and laughter, sure, but actual acts of goodness? Not so much. Not in his life. And man, it had taken a long time for Dean to see meeting Castiel as a good thing. Castiel may have rescued him from Hell, but he’d dumped Dean on earth, battle-scarred and broken. It hadn’t felt like a good thing. It wasn’t until that night in the alley when Castiel called Dean out on his selfish cowardice and subsequently beat the shit out of him that Dean started to understand. He needed Castiel. Sam knew Dean, and he knew when Dean was being a dick, but Sam remained Dean’s baby brother. Dean was always going to be able to fool himself into believing he knew better, even when Sam was right. But Castiel was a freaking angel. Dean was never going to get one past him. And Dean was so _grateful_ for it.

“What’s the matter?”

So many things, _so many things_ are the matter with Dean he cannot possibly name them all. He had no idea how anyone had ever considered him The Righteous Man. Dean still wanted to see the standard by which that was judged. He had no faith, he did not believe in good things, he lied, he stole, he killed… Castiel was the only thing that Dean was 100% sure he’d gotten right. It took him a while, no question. But, yeah. This was right.

“You don’t think you deserved to be saved.”

Dean dressed quickly. No, he didn’t deserve to be saved, didn’t deserve Castiel. Castiel, with his strength and faith and optimism and love. Dean could spend his whole life being the very best version of himself and still not even come close to being half the man Castiel was. But he was gonna try.

“Because God commanded it.”

Maybe God knew what he was doing.

***

The pastor smiled, “I understand you two have prepared vows. Dean?”

Dean took Castiel’s hands in his. He took a deep breath, allowing Castiel’s deep blue eyes to calm him.

“Castiel,

“You saved me. You are my angel. You have given me something more to believe in, my source of faith. You make me want to be a better man. I promise to spend the rest of my life learning everything about you there is to know. You are my proof that good things happen, Castiel. You accept me for who I am and love me anyway. I don’t deserve you. But God brought us together, and I think that means something.

“I love you, Castiel.”

Dean took the ring from Sam, sliding it onto Castiel’s finger, finally, _finally_ branding Castiel as his own.

Yeah, Castiel had more than just rescued Dean from Hell. Castiel was Dean’s salvation. And he was never letting go.


End file.
